Becoming Me
by Ava3
Summary: A short little ficlet on how Peter was influenced to end up betraying his friends.


Author's Note: I wrote this as a short little ficlet, but I'm not sure as to whether it will stay that way for long. It all depends on time and if I feel like it. As always, please review!  
  
Becoming Me  
  
I walk down the passage to the Great Hall rather dazedly. Morning is not my favorite time of day. Luckily, I see no sign of Sirius, James, or Remus, so I continue to drag myself to the regular sitting area of the fourth years at the Gryffindor table.  
  
Food has already been set out neatly, in huge dishes and bowls. The plates and silverware align perfectly and precisely to the other sets on all sides of it. I think back warily to the time the previous year when I had discovered where the Hogwarts school kitchen was, along with James, Sirius, and Remus. I focus back to the present, and I notice Arabella and her fifth year friends a few seats away from me, but I ignore them purposely, pretending not to see them. A delicious bagel somehow finds its way into my palm. I can't remember when I grabbed for it, but resume to eat it anyway.  
  
After a few bites of scrambled eggs, I stop. Lily Evans enters the Great Hall. Her fiery red hair is bouncing upon her shoulders. It makes me shudder. I only peek at her, afraid to stare. I do what I always do - pretend that I am invisible. She does not spot me.  
  
She prances gracefully into a seat across from me. I hear her greet me in her usual ready-for-action morning voice. Somehow I can not speak, and I feel my fingers go numb. They release my fork.  
  
I see a slippery yellow mess wobble around my lap. Lily makes no snide remarks. She just stares at me in what, disbelief? I feel my cheeks get hot and I already know my ears are on fire. Her mouth gapes at me, and I gape back. I savor the moment to look at her eyes. I'm not supposed to have her. But I want to.  
  
I watch Lily turn way. She looks hopefully to her left. There he is. The who can have her. I begin to brush the food off me. I'm useless. Lily forgets me. James is there, and that is why. Why would she bother with me? Peter?  
  
The two begin to argue. "Lily, if you keep getting up so early, I'm afraid I can't be your friend anymore," I hear him say. His voice is bright and rings musically from some place deep inside of him. I only hear this voice when he's with her. I possess no such voice - only a squeak, a chirp.  
  
I see Lily brush her hair out of her eyes vigorously. She blushes and giggles foolishly. "Well then, " I hear her say, "I guess this means I have to hate you too." James smiles as if he had just given birth to his own heir. I wish someone would care about me that way.  
  
Both grin broadly . "Fine," I hear him say playfully. He turns his chin up disdainfully and turns his back to her. "Okay," says Lily, and I see her do the same in a poor imitation of an upset tone. I am ready to leave, but wait a last second, not wanting to have to go away from that beautiful face. I see them both laughing joyfully, not a care in the world. Not one of them could resist keeping away from the other. I sigh and walk away quickly, glad to not have to witness anything possibly worse.  
  
* * *  
  
I can not concentrate on what I am doing. It is dark - at least midnight - and I keep tripping over the edge of James's invisibility cloak. Down the stairs. turn left, then right. go past three doors. left again. There I was. I was at the Slytherin Common Room. I figure that the reason they even bothered to tell me the location, was because they thought I would forget it. Indeed I will, I consider. I utter the password, "Vampire Blood," and enter as quietly as I can.  
  
I feel frightened. My breath is caught in my chest and I can not breathe correctly. It hurts. I decide to seat myself on the couch from the strain. So far I see no one, but figure they'll come when they need me.  
  
I finally breathe evenly enough to lay back against the shiny leather. My eyelids are heavy.  
  
A pair of hands seize me around my waist, and another grasp around my neck. My blood runs cold, and I whimper in fear. That is the kind of person I am. Evil.  
  
A granite colored wand points to the middle of my chest. I shudder at the person holding it. Lucius Malfoy. Avery stands to his left, and Nott to his right. I turn around fearfully to see my restraints: Crabbe and Goyle. I release a high-pitched whimper, and stifle it once I see the glares placed upon me.  
  
Lucius begins to speak. "So you have come after all. I never thought you actually would since you're. well, you." I see him give me a sinister sneer. His fanatics imitate him soon afterward. I attempt to laugh too. "Shut him up!" I hear Lucius hiss. Goyle's arms tighten immediately. I struggle for air.  
  
"You agreed to join, did you not?" I hear Avery ask. I nod the best I can and gulp. "I think I know how I can get you to pass the test." I wonder what it could be. Nott finishes the sentence. "You must betray your friends."  
  
I feel my head nod. 


End file.
